How to deal with Premature Ejaculation

Coming too quickly happens to almost every man at some stage – and to some men more often than others. However, ejaculating with little stimulation, having little or no voluntary control or coming earlier than you or your partner want to, particularly if you or your partner – or both – find this distressing, is called premature ejaculation. To give you a rough time frame, if you always or nearly always ejaculate within one minute of penetration and can’t delay it voluntarily, experts classify this problem as premature ejaculation.

Two main forms exist:

• Lifelong premature ejaculation, where the problem starts from the word ‘go’ with the first sexual experience.
• Acquired premature ejaculation, when the problem occurs only in later life.

Premature Ejaculation is probably the most common male sexual problem, but counts as a problem only if it affects your sexual relationship and you or your partner – or both of you – feel frustrated. As a reaction, you may both become more anxious or stressed about attempting intercourse, which in fact can make the problem even worse.

Reassuringly, premature ejaculation isn’t normally due to any underlying disease or condition – in fact; it’s much more frequently due to one or more of the following factors:

• Inexperience: You’re bound to find controlling your orgasm difficult when you start your first sexual relationship. This problem often improves with time.
• New partner: You’re more likely to ejaculate prematurely when you’re starting a sexual relationship with a new partner. Quite often, when your relationship matures and the initial anxiety and excitement starts to wear off, you may find that premature ejaculation becomes much less of a problem.
• Past sexual experiences: Premature ejaculation may be a problem for you if you ‘learned’ to come quickly in your early sexual encounters, perhaps because of fear of being discovered or because you masturbated frequently and in a rushed sort of way. Maybe you felt guilty about masturbating and trained yourself to ejaculate quickly.
• Performance anxiety: Concerns that you’re unable to satisfy your partner may lead to premature ejaculation.

Many self-help and other treatment options are available. However, you’re most likely to achieve and maintain lasting benefits from talking to your sexologist about this issue, because he’s able to advise you on the most appropriate course of action. Here’s a selection of possible treatments that may work for you:

• Behavioural techniques: Various behavioural techniques to find out how to control or strengthen important muscles in your pelvis exist that you may find helpful, including the squeeze technique, stop and start, desensitisation and pelvic floor exercises.
• Condoms: Some men with a very sensitive tip of their penis find that using condoms makes them last longer.
• Talk to your partner: Discussing the problem openly with your partner is often a good first move – it’s likely to help reduce your anxiety and may be therapeutic in itself. While talking, try to find out what other types of stimulation your partner enjoys.
• Try to take your time and relax: A reasonably good chance exists that you may be able to ‘unlearn’ your sexual response, and gradually increase the time you take to climax, if you and your partner try not to rush when you have sex. However, this approach can take time to bear fruit – sometimes weeks or even months.

Premature Ejaculation is fast becoming a reason of concern among married couples. A little adjustment in the lifestyle and regular consultation with a sexologist can help in the longer run.